The sound of knowledge building

Yesterday, I went to a concert. A dear friend invited me to the Royal Conservatory of Music in Toronto, which is, in fact, a school. The concert featured three pieces of contemporary music performed by a small orchestra of all students. The first piece, composed by a grad student of the institution, was being played for the first time that day. I was expecting some kind of “classical”, maybe with more rhythm, but never something that could sound entirely new (and strange…).

The composer of the first piece was present, a young woman in her 20s. Before the performance, she discussed the music with the audience and explained the inspiration for writing it. She said that the sound she envisioned was, in fact, physical. She imagined the sound touching the listeners, the actual sound waves crossing the room and causing a physical reaction in people. Well, I was curious but also skeptical. The performance started, and I could “feel the sound.” She made it! By the end, I was vibrating and feeling completely touched by the sound. One of my research hypotheses has been confirmed! It is indeed possible to position your body in a non-material space and explore the feelings and emotions that this space allows you to experience. Your body can learn from these immaterial realms of knowledge.

A young French composer wrote the second piece of that night in 2019-20. At this point, I understood that what I was listening to that day would change my conception of orchestral music. However, this last piece was even more surprising, as it featured both acoustic instruments and electronic music, alongside new instruments invented by the composer. Additionally, the acoustic instruments were played in an unconventional manner, producing sounds that could be considered anything but music by conservative standards. And what an experience! The physical effort of the musicians to change the way they usually play was one of the most moving images that stayed with me from that night. How uncomfortable and vital it is to change our ways!

After the maestro finished the presentation, the students stood and received applause. This was an emotional moment for families and friends, but also for someone like me who was there without any personal connection with the event. I thought about how wrong I was about what I would listen to during that concert and how much I learned about music. As I am writing, I also think a lot about my research.

The young musicians were challenged to set aside all the classical and difficult things they had learned to embark on a very different trip – to create music that was less structured (or technical) and more sensory. They had to use the instruments they were learning at school in a different way and create unusual sounds. How can you be sure these sounds are “good”? They had to trust their instincts. Also, they were invited to play invented or adapted instruments (which would be considered instruments only by an open-minded perspective). And they did it! Their curiosity was bigger than their fear, and I admired them.

Here a special thanks to my friend Renata Moreira que sempre me leva a lugares que eu nunca iria sozinha[1].

I have similar feelings about the way I am building this dissertation. I am trying a new song. I am playing in a classical stage, but the sound I am trying to make is not classical! It is experimental, and the discovery is part of this experience. At this point, I’m not sure if the sound is good. The construction of the instruments, the way I adapted the classical ones to make the sound I want and the extra work to try to play something people are not used to listening to can be fascinating and risky. And guess what? I am really enjoying making all this noise. Perhaps it won't be music to your ears. Maybe, when you read my words, you may say, “This is NOT PhD material!” Or you may like it, feeling it more than knowing it. Just like me that night, when I physically felt the sound waves of the new music, you may feel my words. I really hope this work touches your heart and body more deeply than your mind. I hope this work brings you closer to my people and our communal spirit. And I dream that, after reading this, you can feel your gender differently.

[1] This dissertation uses the strategy of partial translation and controlled equivocation (Castro, 2015) for some content. I will explain my motivations and the methodological strategy in Chapter 3.